The Airport Lounge Knobber

What is it with airport lounges.

For me, it’s a comfortable seat, a coffee, a snack, maybe a couple of beers, and an easy way to ease yourself into holiday mode.

I certainly wouldn’t pay for it — we get access through a credit card or airline status.

What it definitely isn’t is a stage for people to hold court…

Boss Man

Particularly if you’re loudly reminding your staff that you’re the important one on the Singapore trip.. Yes Andrew, No 1 lounge, terminal 2, Heathrow @ 09:30 on the 20th April 2026. We now all know you are important Andy, connected to the military etc -

but you’re clearly off on a jolly, not a covert operation..

Be more like Sam your staffer - who had clearly done all the actual planning and seemed far more interested in Singapore than listening to your office politicking.

I’m glad we aren’t going your direction.

Gin and tonics at 09:30 are a dangerous game. You either become even more unbearably dull or everyone’s favourite person once you fall asleep.

As an aside - I once saw an elderly gentleman empty a full bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label into his flask at the BA 1st lounge at Heathrow.

To this day, I still can’t decide whether he was a legend or an absolute disgrace.

Airport lounges were meant to make travel calmer. Instead, they mostly reveal exactly how people behave when given free WiFi and unlimited alcohol at the weirdest of times.