You think you’re choosing when to sleep on a flight, but the United got there first

How airlines quietly run your sleep cycle

The more I travel, the more I notice how airlines quietly control us.

You think you’re choosing when to sleep on a flight - but that isn’t the case - the airline knows best.

That probably sounds more like paranoia or a conspiracy theory, but read on.

Boarding and first nap

We got on this flight and even though we had already been fed and watered in the airport - we were given a first meal.

2.5 hours later the lights were dimmed, the window shutters were automatically closed (Dreamliner) - sleepy time everyone.

Isn’t that what they did with our children at nursery?

Jane gave in and asked for her travel pillow, and 30secs later was fast asleep. I was a firm no. I’m not a toddler that needs a sleep after lunch. I was for staying up and writing a shed load of blog posts as I’m in the mood and there isn’t much else to do. I paid $14.99 for this internet in the sky and I’m going to make full use of it.

In the Clouds

I’m also texting the kids from the air. They might not be impressed, but I think it is a magnificent technological step (when it works), that we would only have dreamed of when I was their age. Note - texting didn’t even exist when I was their age - we wrote letters, posted them, and would get a reply in roughly a week’s time.

F’ing internet has dropped - I guess we need to get to Greenland before it reestablishes a signal. Another underhand way to get us hardy characters all off to sleep?

And it’s back, and I’ve had a little sleep - yeah I know. In my defence - I guess that is why they feed those that are up some wine. Whilst I wasn’t exactly drugged - half a bottle of wine in the afternoon will do that to you.

So it’s now 15:30 and it’s all quiet in the cabin, passengers are mostly sleeping, though the temperature has just dropped a few degrees, which makes me wonder if we are subtly being woken for another feed.

They do that - the amount of light in the cabin, and the temperature of the cabin are both used to manage us to sleep and wake us as required. It must be time for 2nd service soon - otherwise there won’t be time for the 3rd service.

Moving on

In the meantime - I’ve been practising my interactions with our US cousins.

A general thanks seems to be give as a matter of course rather than when deserved.

Think of tipping - it’s pretty much mandatory whether the service is good or not. My new line is “I appreciate that”, soon I hope to upgrade to “I appreciate you”, but it may be a step too far for me, and bordering on outright lying.